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Landscapes of the Heart: The Working World of a Sex and Relationship Therapist – Juliet Grayson
Webinar with John Wilson from Online Events

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In this hour Juliet talks about her book “Landscapes of the Heart: The working world of a sex and relationship therapist“. In the book Juliet gives us privileged access her unique client sessions and work. Following several couples’ journeys, through sex and relationship therapy, to better, more loving marriages and partnerships, we witness her rich blend of life-changing approaches, including Neuro-Linguistic Programming, emotional fusion, anger work, and Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor (PBSP)– the extraordinarily potent new methodology she has helped to pioneer in the UK. This book is designed for the lay reader, and will be of interest to both one to one and couple therapists, who want to learn different techniques.

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PLEASE VOTE (if you read this before March 15 2019)
I am very excited, because my book “Landscapes of the Heart: The Working World of a Sex and Relationship Therapist” has been chosen by my publishers, to be enterered for the People’s Book Prize. It is one of only 20 books long-listed for the non-fiction category. This prize is awarded to the book that gets the highest number of votes, so please can you help me get to the short list. This one is quick, you do not need to register or log in. Just go to this page and vote. NB You do not have to have read the book. You can vote once for each email address that you have, (so if you have more than one email address you can vote again, but you will need to refresh the page).

CONTENT and  Topics Covered in this conversation

1.36 minutes

  • Who are you and what do you do?
  • The effectiveness of PBSP, and the 5 ongoing personal development Pesso Boyden groups

3.29 minutes

  • About my book, Landscapes of the Heart gives the reader a bird’s eye view of the therapy room


  • Micro-tracking: the art of reading the micro-muscular changes in a face, and how I use that with couples


  • People’s book prize
  • If you are having problems in your relationship, try couples therapy sooner rather than later – it can be very effective!
  • Vote for the book in the People’s Book Prize Voting closes 15th March 2019
  • 54

9.57 minutes

  • John: What would help a non-therapy person come into couples therapy?
  • 11 minutes
  • The 3 phases of a relationship: ideal, ordeal, and real deal


  • Couple therapy is a specialist skill. How Juliet started working with couples
  • John: What is it about couples that you fell in love with?


  • Pesso Boyden looks at what are the childhood issues that influence us every day
  • “Present consciousness is a tapestry woven of memory” quote by Al Pesso
  • Hot buttons
  • The antidote – that antidotes the client’s current experience – an alternative option that can change how people feel in their current relationship because it is no longer loaded from their history

19 minutes

  • Yearning for something that should have come in childhood – but we look for it with the current partner
  • “Healing has to happen in the right kinship relationship at the right time at the right age” Al Pesso


  • How we use an Ideal Father in Pesso Boyden Psychotherapy
  • After satisfying the client’s childhood need using an Ideal Parent, then the yearning from the partner is not there is the same way because the deep [underlying] need has been satisfied.

22 mins

  • Pleaser Boss Loner and Developer: Juliet’s simple four character model (taken from Landscapes of the Heart)
  • Differentiation: what my partner does is a reflection on him it is not a reflection on me
  • Relationships are people growing machines – balancing autonomy and emotional connection


  • The six modular training (12 days) that we run for therapists who want to work with couples

27.47 – 38.00

  • Juliet’s 5 star model of conscious relating(taken from Landscapes of the Heart) in details


  • Participant Question: Can we ever get back to the Ideal phase of a relationship?

43.00 – 47.36

  • Participant Question: If a man has had a separation issue in early childhood (mum had post natal depression or went back to work) – how does this affect adult relationships and could this be worked through Pesso Boyden Psychotherapy? Juliet gives an example of Pesso Boyden in practice.  The client said, ‘You help me to work out what I most wanted in life but didn’t know I wanted.  And then you give it to me using the Ideal Parents in a group’


  • My wish would be that all therapists in the first assessment ask their clients ‘and how is your sex life?’


  • Training as a couple therapist or sex therapist – what capacities would therapists see in themselves to be able to be a sex therapist.


  • What training do you believe is suitable for counsellers transitioning to couples work. Juliet describes her couples training and the modules.


  • Participant Question: If domestic violence occurs during therapy can the couple get back to the ‘real deal’ phase of a relationship.


  • A therapist can send a client to a Pesso Boyden group, and the original therapist will do the one to one


  • Pesso Boyden Training starts in London October 2019 and another one will run concurrently in Bristol October 2019


  • Pesso Boyden groups in Bristol, London, South Wales, Oxfordshire.

1 hour

  • Where to get the book
  • Voting in the People’s Book Prize

1 hour 1 minute

  • StopSO: The Specialist Treatment Organisation for Perpetrators and Survivors of Sexual Offences. We offer therapy to perpetrators (actual and potential) before they act out


  • StopSO foundation training is 3 days
  • Professional Certificate in Working with Sex Offenders 10 day course
  • StopSO Conference May 1st 2019






February 26 2019